about my car. about living in detroit. somehow i had forgotten about my car when i woke up but then saw a bunch of texts from people i’d texted last night when i looked at my phone.
i’m not really sure why it makes me feel shitty. like, no one threatened or hurt me, the window’s not going to be prohibitively expensive to replace (just a pain), they didn’t take anything, people’s window’s get smashed out and it’s totally a thing that just happens and isn’t a big deal. but, like, i still feel defeated by it. like, i think i would feel less bad if they’d actually stolen anything but they didn’t so it’s like, what’s the point?
detroit is so pointless. i really don’t want to be here. i fucking hate it here and keep thinking “maybe i could just find a place to live in toronto and leave yesterday” because my classes are all online this term but i need to finish out summer reading at work and save some money since i won’t be able to work there (at least not legally?) till i officially get my mlis in december. september feels too long to wait.
it’s not because of my car—my car’s not a huge deal and i’m not super attached to it (i actually hate cars and everything about owning one)—i’ve just been on the edge with detroit and something was gonna push me over
i really really gotta remember about that thing where running makes me feel better.
[video]
i’m really into today’s (except that the bandana around my neck totally looks like a lobster bib)
occasionaluser asked: Just saying hi since you were wondering who your followers are. I don't know you irl, I just clicked the follow button after I ran across a post of yours from April about how trans women are hot and it's okay to say so. Nice to meet you! :)
aw, hey! thanks for saying hi :)
srsly fuck detroit. they threw all of my stuff all over but all i’ve found missing so far is 2 or 3 quarters from the cup holder (they left a nickel that was there behind, guess it wasn’t worth taking?)
srsly i can’t get the fuck out of detroit soon enough, september seems so far away. i hate cars and i hate driving
rebel girl you are the queen of my world
(via interpretivescreaming)
blickblocks said: Where were the cyborgs?
all the images of medically/scientifically constructed bodies mixed with all the sci-fi/computer/technology/futuristic imagery mixed with all the serene/spiritual imagery in the video totally bring up thoughts of cyborgs to me (like how i’m a cyborg)
i want this cake!
i stopped running for awhile because my dog would just lye down and i’d have to carry him but he’d get mad if i didn’t take him and go to the bathroom on the carpet.
i ran today without him and ran really really fast and it’s not like i feel totally un-sad all of the sudden, but it did make things a lot better and i’m feeling a little good now and i don’t feel like i’m falling into a sinkhole
[video]
[video]
i don’t even really know why—i have all these great people in my life in detroit and out of detroit but i still feel a little lonely
maybe it’s spending the weekend in toronto and the coming back and really really remembering how isolating it is here. i wish i was moving tomorrow :( september feels so far away right now
and sometimes someone will follow me for months before i figure out it’s someone i’ve known really well for years irl. then when i find out, i get all excited but then also feel bad like maybe they thought i thought i was too cool to follow them. then sometimes there are folx who follow me who i try and figure out who they are and can’t figure it out
Sometimes the baker finds time between school and baking for herself and crying and baking for the coffee people and sing-laughing and baking for the bread people and running furiously and not sleeping and biking in the rain to stop and pick you a bouquet of flowers and she comes in wet from the rain and leaves petals and raindrops on yr bed and even though you’re in love with her and want to kiss her maybe a lot maybe you also wish you could have had a mom like her, sad maybe a lot maybe but kind and loving too and you hope she’ll be around for yr kids ‘cause gash knows how you’ll manage alone and anyways she kinda makes even you feel like her daughter sometimes.
(Thanks to KS and K$ for the voice and the language and the flowers.)
this is beautiful!